Seventy-two questions for getting to know a kid, whether the kid is your own or one of twenty new faces in September. Start with favorites, move on to friends and family, and save the "if you were a…" questions for when they have warmed up. The last group is for a new class and the first day of school.
In this deck · 6 groups
Favorites and firsts
What food could you eat every day and never get tired of?
Then ask: What would you put next to it on the plate?
What is your favorite thing to wear?
Then ask: Where would you wear it if you could wear it anywhere?
What is the best place you have ever been?
Then ask: What do you remember about how it looked or smelled?
What is your very first memory?
Then ask: How old do you think you were?
What is your favorite song right now?
Then ask: What do you do when it comes on?
Which book or show would you tell a friend to try?
Then ask: What part would you not spoil for them?
What is your favorite word?
Then ask: Where did you first hear it?
What was the best day of your life so far?
Then ask: What made it better than a normal good day?
What is your favorite time of year?
Then ask: What do you do then that you never do the rest of the year?
What is the first thing you would buy with ten dollars?
Then ask: Would you spend it all at once or save some?
What is your favorite thing to do outside?
Then ask: Who do you like to do it with?
What was the first thing you learned to do all by yourself?
Then ask: Did someone teach you, or did you figure it out?
Each question has a follow-up for when the first answer is one word. Answer the question yourself too, because kids say more when the grown-up takes a turn.
Tired of hearing "fine"? Thonko asks your kid questions like these out loud and wants a reason behind every answer.
Your days
What is the best part of your day?
Then ask: What would make it last longer?
What part of the day do you wish you could skip?
Then ask: What would you do with that time instead?
Are you a morning person or a night person?
Then ask: What are you like at the other end of the day?
What do you like to do right after school?
Then ask: What do you need before you can start homework?
What is your favorite breakfast?
Then ask: Who makes it best?
Which chore do you mind the least?
Then ask: What makes it better than the others?
What would you do on a rainy day with no screens?
Then ask: Who would you want home with you?
What do you think about when you are falling asleep?
Then ask: Do you ever dream about it?
What is something you do the same way every single time?
Then ask: What happens if you do it differently?
What is the best thing to do on a long car ride?
Then ask: What makes a car ride feel long?
Where in our home do you like to be the most?
Then ask: What would make that spot even better?
What smell makes you happy?
Then ask: Where do you know it from?
Friends and family
How did you meet your best friend?
Then ask: What did you notice about them first?
What is something you and your best friend disagree about?
Then ask: How do you stay friends anyway?
What do you and your friends play the most?
Then ask: Who usually picks the game?
Who in our family are you most like?
Then ask: In what way are you different from them?
What is your favorite thing to do with a grandparent?
Then ask: What do they do that nobody else does?
What is the best part of having a brother or sister, or of being the only kid?
Then ask: And what is the hardest part?
What family tradition would you keep forever?
Then ask: Which one would you happily drop?
What does our family do that other families do not?
Then ask: How did you find out other families do it differently?
If you could invite anyone to dinner at our house, who would it be?
Then ask: What would you ask them first?
Who is the best person to tell a secret to?
Then ask: What makes them good at keeping it?
What is a story about you that our family loves to tell?
Then ask: Do you remember it the same way?
What makes a friend's house fun to visit?
Then ask: What would a friend say is fun about ours?
What you care about
What is something that seems unfair to you?
Then ask: What would you change about it if you could?
What are you proud of that nobody gave you a prize for?
Then ask: Who would you want to know about it?
If you had a whole day to help someone, who would you pick?
Then ask: What would you do for them?
What is a rule you think is a good one?
Then ask: What would happen if nobody followed it?
What rule would you get rid of?
Then ask: Why do you think someone made it in the first place?
What would you never trade, even for a lot of money?
Then ask: What makes it worth more than money?
What do you want to get better at this year?
Then ask: What is the first small step?
What do you think makes a person brave?
Then ask: When have you seen someone be brave?
What job would you like to try for one day?
Then ask: Which part of it do you think is the hardest?
What do you worry about sometimes?
Then ask: What helps when that worry shows up?
What problem in the world would you fix first?
Then ask: What could a kid do about it now?
Who do you look up to?
Then ask: What do they do that you want to do too?
If you were a…
If you were a salad, what would be in it?
Then ask: Why those things and not others?
If you were a kind of weather, what would you be today?
Then ask: What would make the weather change?
If you were a food, what food would you be?
Then ask: Why that one and not your favorite food?
If you were a color, which color would you be?
Then ask: Would you be the same color on a school day?
If you were a room in our house, which room would you be?
Then ask: What would people come to you for?
If you were a song, what kind of song would you be?
Then ask: Loud or quiet, fast or slow? Why?
If you were a book, what would your title be?
Then ask: What would happen in chapter one?
If you were a vehicle, what would you be?
Then ask: Where would you take people?
If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?
Then ask: What would grow on you, and who would live in you?
If you were a superhero, what would your power be?
Then ask: What would your weak spot be?
If you were a game, what game would you be?
Then ask: What would your rules be?
If you were a place on a map, where would you be?
Then ask: Who would come to visit you?
New class and first day
What do you hope your new teacher is like?
Then ask: How could you get to know them on the first day?
What are you most looking forward to this year?
Then ask: What are you least sure about?
What would you want your new class to know about you?
Then ask: What would you rather they found out later?
What is the best way to make a new friend at school?
Then ask: What would you say first?
What did you notice first when you walked into your new classroom?
Then ask: What would you change about the room?
Who did you sit next to today?
Then ask: What do you know about them already?
What was the hardest part of the first day?
Then ask: What would make tomorrow easier?
What is one thing you want to learn this year?
Then ask: Who could help you learn it?
If you could pick one class job, what would it be?
Then ask: What would you do better than anyone?
What do you think your teacher likes best?
Then ask: How did you figure that out?
What surprised you about your new grade?
Then ask: Is it harder or easier than you thought?
What would make this your best school year so far?
Then ask: Which part of that is up to you?